Today's mood: Inspired and content
Forecast: Greatness
In the wake of the Zimmerman not guilty verdict there has been a lot of talk on race. Personally I endeavor to take the intellectual route on the subject (although I don't always succeed). I will not discuss the case but I want to delve into some of the complexities behind existing and successfully thriving in America today. What options do we have moving forward. We're aware of the problems, now let's throw in some solutions.
Showing posts with label self acceptance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self acceptance. Show all posts
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Thursday, July 11, 2013
A Torrid Love Affair. . . It's truly not as salacious as it seems
Today's Mood: Bitch try me. . .
Forecast: Cloudy with a chance of bitch slap. I kid...maybe.
My love affair with poetry. . .
Poetry used to be a huge part of my life back in the not so good old days. The first time I fell in love it was with poetry. I wrote things down to escape my past and present misery at the time and it never really occurred to me that it was any good. Until some time in high school I had the immense pleasure of meeting a man by the name of John Bennett (I hope I'm spelling his last name right). He saw something in me that I didn't know I possessed, at the time. There was a pain that took up residence behind my eyes that he somehow grasped on to. I put on a brave face so no one knew but that pain was suffocating me. I channeled that aggression and some of the misguided abhorrence into poetry and as it turns out although my experiences were mostly shrouded in darkness and despair, I somehow always found it in my heart and soul to personify love. Thus a true love affair with poetry began. I wonder what John is up to these days. I hope he's found love and has a little girl named Soliloquy to prove it.
So today on a whim, I picked up my purple pen and yellow paper (random tidbit: those are my two favorite colors and no that does not a Lakers fan make ;-p) I wrote a paragraph long affirmation for reasons I will not get into. Maybe I'll save that for another day. Basically today July eleventh has some significance to me and I wanted to get it in writing that I acknowledge chance and change coming into my life and I accept it and welcome it with both arms open. One thing led to another and I had one of those stream of consciousness moments and I began to describe the way that I love as it pertains to who I am. And a poem was born.
Forecast: Cloudy with a chance of bitch slap. I kid...maybe.
My love affair with poetry. . .
Poetry used to be a huge part of my life back in the not so good old days. The first time I fell in love it was with poetry. I wrote things down to escape my past and present misery at the time and it never really occurred to me that it was any good. Until some time in high school I had the immense pleasure of meeting a man by the name of John Bennett (I hope I'm spelling his last name right). He saw something in me that I didn't know I possessed, at the time. There was a pain that took up residence behind my eyes that he somehow grasped on to. I put on a brave face so no one knew but that pain was suffocating me. I channeled that aggression and some of the misguided abhorrence into poetry and as it turns out although my experiences were mostly shrouded in darkness and despair, I somehow always found it in my heart and soul to personify love. Thus a true love affair with poetry began. I wonder what John is up to these days. I hope he's found love and has a little girl named Soliloquy to prove it.
So today on a whim, I picked up my purple pen and yellow paper (random tidbit: those are my two favorite colors and no that does not a Lakers fan make ;-p) I wrote a paragraph long affirmation for reasons I will not get into. Maybe I'll save that for another day. Basically today July eleventh has some significance to me and I wanted to get it in writing that I acknowledge chance and change coming into my life and I accept it and welcome it with both arms open. One thing led to another and I had one of those stream of consciousness moments and I began to describe the way that I love as it pertains to who I am. And a poem was born.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Sins of My Father
How I'm feeling today: anxious, melancholy, thoughtful and somehow still content (the power of acceptance of both self and circumstance)
So I promised this post on Valentine's Day but I could not get myself to really dig deep enough to write this one in all its ugly truths. First my apologies for not keeping my word, I endeavor to do so in the future. I just could not write this post while I was in a negative space. Some parts will look into my past, my childhood, the people that have in one way or another shaped my worldview, and the people that no longer exist in my mind space and why. The basis of this post is to go through some of my experiences and delve into why one of the biggest lessons I've learned is that some people cannot give or receive love.
What I'd like to talk about first are the people in my life that I love and am loyal to, not by name but by their characteristics. Loyalty and trust are everything to me and in order to be friends/family (I don't know about you but I choose who I call family too) with anyone I require both in abundance. I say that to say this, have you ever known someone that made it impossible for you to tolerate them let alone to love them, to the point where loving them is inconceivable. Personally if I can neither trust nor have a mutually implied loyalty with an individual then all bets are off. We are neither friends nor are we family. It's that cut and dry. That's not to say we are enemies because I'm too adult and elevated in the way I see the world to give up my precious mind space for a subset of people that I will now have to consciously avoid (it's just dumb and counterproductive).
So I promised this post on Valentine's Day but I could not get myself to really dig deep enough to write this one in all its ugly truths. First my apologies for not keeping my word, I endeavor to do so in the future. I just could not write this post while I was in a negative space. Some parts will look into my past, my childhood, the people that have in one way or another shaped my worldview, and the people that no longer exist in my mind space and why. The basis of this post is to go through some of my experiences and delve into why one of the biggest lessons I've learned is that some people cannot give or receive love.
What I'd like to talk about first are the people in my life that I love and am loyal to, not by name but by their characteristics. Loyalty and trust are everything to me and in order to be friends/family (I don't know about you but I choose who I call family too) with anyone I require both in abundance. I say that to say this, have you ever known someone that made it impossible for you to tolerate them let alone to love them, to the point where loving them is inconceivable. Personally if I can neither trust nor have a mutually implied loyalty with an individual then all bets are off. We are neither friends nor are we family. It's that cut and dry. That's not to say we are enemies because I'm too adult and elevated in the way I see the world to give up my precious mind space for a subset of people that I will now have to consciously avoid (it's just dumb and counterproductive).
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