Sins of My Father

How I'm feeling today: anxious, melancholy, thoughtful and somehow still content (the power of acceptance of both self and circumstance)

So I promised this post on Valentine's Day but I could not get myself to really dig deep enough to write this one in all its ugly truths. First my apologies for not keeping my word, I endeavor to do so in the future. I just could not write this post while I was in a negative space. Some parts will look into my past, my childhood, the people that have in one way or another shaped my worldview, and the people that no longer exist in my mind space and why. The basis of this post is to go through some of my experiences and delve into why one of the biggest lessons I've learned is that some people cannot give or receive love.

What I'd like to talk about first are the people in my life that I love and am loyal to, not by name but by their characteristics. Loyalty and trust are everything to me and in order to be friends/family (I don't know about you but I choose who I call family too) with anyone I require both in abundance. I say that to say this, have you ever known someone that made it impossible for you to tolerate them let alone to love them, to the point where loving them is inconceivable. Personally if I can neither trust nor have a mutually implied loyalty with an individual then all bets are off. We are neither friends nor are we family. It's that cut and dry. That's not to say we are enemies because I'm too adult and elevated in the way I see the world to give up my precious mind space for a subset of people that I will now have to consciously avoid (it's just dumb and counterproductive).

Express yourself... Let your freak flag fly!

How I'm feeling today:  Conflicted and strangely focused

So I found this website very recently and I think this guy is absolutely insane (in a good way of course).  No one could ever accuse Scott of the website sexpressed.com of being anything but brutally honest. We may not share the same values or life experiences but I admire his don't give a shit attitude. Life is only but so long and you have to live it according to your own personal creed.

I sometimes have a difficult time with the notion that 'not everyone will get me or like me or care what I have to say or even care that I exist'--but I think someone like Scott would probably say fuck those people and the loins that they came from. I'm learning; slowly (very fucking slowly) but surely! So shout out to Scott and those like him who simply live life and once they find out who they are (which is a mind fuck all in itself) but when people like that find out who they are, they embrace it and find others that are open-minded enough and accepting of whoever they deem themselves to be. I love that!

If you are remotely interested in Scott's story here's a link to who he is and how he got that way.  By the way some of the ads featured on the website may not be suitable for the workplace. And as always please let me know what you think.

Disclaimer:
If you're a prude fuck off! I probably don't like you anyway. There! I feel like at some point I won't have to say that but until I get acquainted with who my readers are that's how it's going to be.

P.S. I guess for today only we're going to call it a 'Two Blog Thursday' -- Since today happens to be Valentine's Day and I have a story to tell... We'll see what I come up with and if it's not posted today forgive me but it will be delivered for sure before the weeks end.